There My Heart Will Be Also

Life transitions can be a bit of a hassle. Plans that were made in one season of life have to be changed or cancelled when moving into the next. That is what is happening to me now. I travelled to Nepal with some of my closest friends twice last year. I was planning to take another trip this July to visit the beautiful children of the Sophia Girls' Home as well as the youth of Kathmandu and East Nepal. Recently, God opened the door for me to study for a bachelor’s degree in mass communications.

It was a great struggle for me to finally accept that I couldn’t go. I think the reluctance to give up my place on the team stems from a phobia that if I wasn’t with the people I loved, I would somehow be forgotten, or I would lose the love that I had for the Nepalese youth. But God reminds me that Kingdom work is spiritual work, where there are no limitations. He reassures me that although I cannot be with them physically, I can still impact them with love through a different means.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:21, Luke 12:34

Jesus speaks about the link between treasures like money, belongings and time; and one’s heart. Essentially, He says that the things that one invests in show where the priorities lie. He reassures us that investments in the Kingdom will never be lost or degraded.

It is such a joy to know that although I cannot go, I can still give. That my heart and my treasure can still impact the people in Nepal.

Love Revealed in Nepal

July 2011

Video by Oh Ruey Jen

Photography by Samuel Teo & Daryl Goh

I used to think that it would be a great loss to the team if I couldn't go. I now know that the opposite is true. Without being forlorn or depressed, I can now say that in my absence, God makes the team better. I see similarities in the desire of every team member; to bring God-given desires and talents to bless others. I see a willingness to put aside self-promotion in order to promote the Kingdom of God. I have faith in this team, I have faith in Him.

My First Day Of School

There's many places I'd rather be than in a cold empty classroom and yet this is where I sit, shivering. It is my first day of my university studies and all I can think about are kids in the worship camp in church, receiving from fine worship leaders and musicians from Charis Methodist, Paya Lebar Methodist, Riverlife and Forerunners.

My thoughts are interrupted by a slender lady who strides into the room. I could have mistaken the lecturer for a student if not for elegant age lines around her eyes. We are joined by two other female students who enter the room chatting. As the lecturer introduces herself, I am very aware of two facts; there are only 4 of us in the room and, I am the only guy.

The lecturer is entertaining but speaks like someone disillusioned with the system. Once in a while when she tells a joke, her eyes shine and her youthfulness is unsuppressed. I imagine she must have been very attractive in her younger days.

After class, I speak to some guys at the camp over the phone. I hear singing and worship in the background and immediately, there is a longing in my heart. God reminds me that He is right here with me on my slow stroll to the MRT station. The traffic of City Hall becomes a low droning and it is as if the night is lit by candle light. I remind God that I've always wanted to be where the worshippers are. This might be the path after all.

A Fire In The Camp

Your mouth is a black hole
Spewing debris before you implode
Hope is skin I live in
And you flay, you flay

I, like iron sing when struck
And compassion reverberates
Life is a game of love, of verve
And I play, I play

What is death? Disconnect from sustenance.
Wings clipped and trapped in tradition.
For fear of discomfort.
So who pays, who pays?

- Daryl Goh

The Aroma Of Expectation

A fraction of life is spent nursing bruised pride.
With fractured desires which imitate my heart;
in pieces and given away.
The pain not caused by the words in your book
But by forcing my lies into your Truth.

Tell me about these fulfilled laws:
Have they ever felled giants and mountains and walls,
Or are we the ones who have to fall?
Have they ever raised the dead and dying, the dawn?
Death by expectation while we gather and mourn.

If Love were liquid,
it would neither be wine
nor perfume poured out.
Know that your tears mean more to me
than a fragrance ever will.

- Daryl Goh